dress accordingly

Over the last few years I've started seeing how my style works - what I'm drawn to, what makes me all big smiley-faced when I wear it, and what others basically have come to expect me to wear. It's not that I've set a precedent for looking cute, I just enjoy being dressed and playing dress up. I don't know the last time I wore sweatpants or Ugg boots in public (other than in the state of Vermont in a small town with a population of 2,000 - it's acceptable, okay?). I don't feel confident in hoodies. I don't like the way tee shirts feel on me, unless it's a V-neck and meant for casual wear, not football games.

Designing myself has been a task I've been taking on since 2010. Some people may find this pompous, arrogant, etc. I like to refer to those people as people without dreams. Sorry boutcha. You crush everyone's hopes and dreams. You're that person in 8th grade math class that passed a calculator with 55378008 on it to me in the middle of lecture. And hey, by the way, I'm a DD now. In. Your. FACE.

There's a pin on Pinterest about style. It's simple: 1. Know Who You Are 2. Dress Accordingly


Since I'm newly 25 and still defining my style, it goes to show how long of a process this can be. I'm sure it'll evolve with time, but for now I've made a list of sorts. Essentials, if you will.

1. RED/CORAL/PEACH BAG • Except the last year and a half or so I've been rocking a nude one from H&M, which has served it's time very proudly. But prior to that... red, peach, etc. each serving a good year until they began splitting at the seams and/or acquiring holes (I lost so many things between the lining and bag textile itself... important things. Toothbrush, where are you?)

2. CINCHED WAIST • Almost anything I wear has this. Point being, when I was a junior/senior in college and drinking 5 out of 7 days of the week (yolo), no waist was visible. I was an oval plump skinny-limbed girl and it was weird. Then all my friends graduated and left me behind, limiting me to about one day out of every two weeks that I went out. Yeah, drastic changes there. Cinching the waist is just the most feminine thing you can do, and the easiest to make you feel like a lady. But once you eat lunch it gets iffy. (andddd I'll let the ol' belt out a notch...)

3. OXFORDS • Hello. My name is Stafford, and I fucking love oxfords. I'm not talking saddle shoes, I'm not talking the super masculine ones. I will swoon when I see a guy wearing some nice warm brown leather oxfords and a suit though - nothing is more appealing. But when it comes to ladies oxfords, they have to be unique, and delicate. Nothing clunky or heavy. Nono. One time a friend made a joke (two years ago, before oxfords were in their trendy time aka now) "what is this? the 18th century?" Clearly he didn't know how to predict fashion trends. Also, I hate flats. Also, I especially hate ballet flats. The only time I'll be seen wearing either is at work, where I'm forced to wear them.

4. DRESSES • I could go on for days about how much I hate wearing pants. It's nearly impossible to find the right fit, and even when you do, chances are: the length is off. Waaay off. I'm talking they're to the floor, or at your calf. There is no medium. And don't even get me started on rises... and how it accentuates a butt I don't even have. Dresses are my answers to bottom woes. I like my legs, and I like to show them off. I also like cinching my waist, which is what a dress does, about 90% of the time. Plus, ultra feminine and fun. Duh.

5. CHEAP SUNGLASSES • I can honestly say I don't remember the last time I wore a regular pair of sunglasses. Probably sometime in high school. Ever since the plastic fake colored Raybans came into style in all their patterned, printed glory, I haven't looked back. What better way to say "I'm kinda serious but not that serious" than with neon yellow sunglasses? I definitely don't wear them with business caj attire, but even my pair for those outfits is a little weird. (after searching for a good pair for this image, I found these, and directly added them to my bag to be purchased tomorrow... signs of a problem.)

6. BOW JEWELRY • In all shapes and sizes, people. I have gold, I have silver. I have earrings, I have pendants. Hell, I even have a bow belt. I love bows. They're an easy way to put an extra precious touch onto any outfit, just to let people know you mean business in the business of happy. Maybe it brings back memories of those clip-on bows from childhood? Or Christmas? Who knows. Either way, bows = happytown.

7. WHITE FLOWY TOPS • Because who doesn't want to camouflage what they have neglected for months (if not years...)? White flowy tops are feminine, almost always pretty, and especially darling when they're textured (hello, lace). They also go great with, oh, anything. Pair them with a skirt. Pair them with jeans. Pair them with sweatpants. Ok, no sweatpants, but you catch my drift.

That's all for now. There's a whole other list for my make-up/hair characteristics that'll come later. For now, I think this list is pretty on point. Props, me.

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